Pastoring a Narcissist

You’ve heard it: Pastoring would be wonderful, if it were not for the people.

Narcissistic people drive a leader crazy. Psychology Today called such people Crazy Makers.

They are one of three groups in the Dark Triad. And you pastor narcissistic people, manipulative people and yes, at least one or two sociopaths/psychopaths.

• Narcissists hurt people.
• Narcissists turn God’s work into a competition.
• Narcissists are about one thing - and it is not Jesus, His church or helping you. They live to win, even if they must cheat to win.

This book addresses dealing with narcissists from a pastoral perspective. It identifies the more common traits of narcissists and looks at Biblical characters through the lens of narcissism.

Lucifer, leading a revolt against the Creator of the Universe. Why? Narcissism. Lucifer lost heaven because of narcissism. Listen to His words: I will ascend . . . , I will exalt . . . I will be like the most high. In the Lord’s way of doing business - the narcissist cannot be allowed to prevail.

King Saul became focused on how events impacted him, and him alone. He ignored the needs of those he led. He became so insecure about David that he spent his energy doing little except trying to destroy David. A bit of attention give to someone else unleashed Saul’s narcissistic tendencies.

Diotrephes loves to have the preeminence . . ., (3 John 1:9). Was Diotrephes interested in the well-being of others? How could we think he was when he refused to allow them to be influenced by the Apostle John.

In each case of narcissism there was also a response taken. In Pastoring Narcissists in the Dark Triad, suggested solutions are provided. They are not quick fixes, nor are they always easy. And there are times when what has worked for me won’t work for someone else. But if you deal with people as a pastor, a department head or even a corporate leader this book will help.